The nietzsche, now under command of captain Panglos, emerged from the Trans dimensional threshold like they had so many times before.
Upon scanning the surrounding area, they found themselves once again the Sol system.
*a random panel explodes on the bridge killing the only Czech on the bridge*
Captain Panglos:
“What the hell is going on, if this another alcohol related malfunction someone is going to be spaced”
Random bridge officer
“Sir as soon as the interference from the rift subsided and we engaged our scanners we where fired upon by 2 ships. They are now shooting tachyons at us”
Captain Panglos
“Tachyons ???”
Random bridge officer
“If I remember my science fiction series correctly I think they might be trying to communicate … if I push these buttons here it could be that the asgard core converts the signal to audio”
Captain Panglos
“What do you mean might”
Random bridge officer
“Well to be honest sir I have no clue what these buttons do but they have a fish symbol one them”
Captain Panglos
“I see where you are going, babelfish … well it seems like an acceptable risk to take, push it”
****zoom****
<a fresh plate of fried fish sticks appears near the console>
Random bridge officer
“So that’s where my predecessor was always getting his fried fish stick from”
*** asgard core beeps and displays message: FFS I already converted it now stop fucking about and answer the phone ***
Captain Panglos
“I see we still haven’t purged the personality routines from the core… now answer the coms”
<Unidentified ship. This is the EA cruiser Redneck, by order of president Clark you are ordered to surrender and prepare to be boarded>
Captain Panglos
“Well I’ll be damned, random officer, open communications with that ship, audio only”
Random bridge officer
“Channel open”
Captain Panglos
“Greetings redneck, this is captain Panglos of the Nietzsche … I wonder, could I speak to Commander Susan Ivanova”
<Babylon 5 traitors, prepare to be destroyed>
Captain Panglos
“Ok that confirms pre or post brake away from earth .. hmm … activate view screen communication”
Random bridge officer
“Active now, euhm .. wait that was the fish dispenser again. My finger slipped … there we go”
Captain Panglos
“Listen now redneck, I wanted to talk to you face to face before this … someone lock on to every piece of clothing they have and beam”
Random bridge officer
“Done sir .. someone shutdown the view screen on their and they are firing”
Captain Panglos
“Fake our destruction, Cloak and set course for EarthGov”
Random bridge officer
“Sir, why bother, that tin can can’t scratch us anyway”
Captain Panglos
“Don’t question my orders, we’re gonna have a little bit of fun … I have a plan”
*** 3 seconds later Earth orbit***
Captain Panglos
“Locate president Clark and beam him to the brig, then set course for Babylon 5”
*** Babylon 5 the time it takes to get there later … Nietzsche still cloaked ***
Captain Panglos
“Ok people, I’m going for a nap … wake me when something interesting happens”
*** A few seconds before EA ships come to retake Babylon 5 ***
Random bridge officer
“ Captain Panglos to the bridge”
Captain Panglos
‘’ What’s happening, have they started fighting yet.”
Random bridge officer
“Sir we’ve “accidently” tapped into Lytha Alexanders bathroom camera”
Captain Panglos
“I’ll be there in a second”
*** Captain Panglos enters the bridge ***
“Right rout the vid to my ready room”
*** Jumpgates open and Clark’s forces exit jumpgate ***
Captain Panglos
“ Gah, worst timing EVER. Ah well start recording everything and let me know the second Ivanova bails from her fighter. Beam her directly to the bridge when it happens “
*** A lot of exiting mid 90ties battle explosions later the transporter activates and deposits Ivanova on the bridge ***
Captain Panglos
“ Welcome commander, you’re just in time “
Smoking hot Commander Susan Ivanova
“ What the hell is going on, who are you …. “
Captain Panglos
“Call me Panglos. We where just in the dimension and I felt I should stop bye. Sit back an have a coffee, this will be over in a moment”
“Someone open a channel to lead EA. Vessel .. stay cloacked”
*** Video communications enabled.***
“This is Panglos … we kindly ask you fuck off or we’ll have to do something nasty
<lead vessel>
“Who is this, where is this signal coming from. By order of president Clark I …”
Captain Panglos
“You asked for it … beam Clark from holding cells to their bridge. Then beam in some crew member to kick him in the groint. After the crewmembers returns disable their ships and broadcast the video of their faces as the event transpired all over Earth Force”
Smoking hot Commander Susan Ivanova
“What ???”
Captain Panglos
“That will be all, the asgard core scanned your female staff for my holodeck. We have to get going now. We’ll be transporting you back to Babylon 5 now.”
“Ow and on our way out we’ll be destroying the Vorlon and Shadow homeworlds .. trust me, we’re doing you a favour.
Smoking hot Commander Susan Ivanova
“Butt … “ **** zoom *** She was standing on the Babylon 5 bridge
Sheridan
“What just happened ???”
Smoking hot Commander Susan Ivanova
“I have no clue”
*** As she looks out into space the Nietzsche de-cloaks in front of the station, Flashes it’s front lights and then reverses and disappears into a green vortex ***
Sheridan
“Never a boring day on Babylon 5, launch shuttles to capture those disabled ships and make sure to take an icepack for the president. We want him fit and able for the trial”
*** The time to get to Vorlon prime later the Nietzsche de-cloaks above it and sends the following message on all channels “please get your buts to beyond the rim, we don’t like you anymore”****
Random Officer
“ Sir we’re being hailed by the Vorlons .. message reads: <We have always been here>”
Captain Panglos
“Oh no they don’t do their vague crap with me, nova their star and set course for Z’hadum”
*** The time to get to Z’hadum later the Nietzsche de-cloaks above it and sends the following message on all channels “please get your buts to beyond the rim, we don’t like you anymore” ****
“ Sir we’re being hailed by the Shadows .. message reads: <What do you want>”
Captain Panglos
“Send following message: beer”
Random Officer
“They are replying they don’t have any but they could arrange it for us”
Captain Panglos
“Nova their star … we’ll get our beer supply the old fashioned way, stealing it directly from Earth Brew Supplies”
And like that the Nietzsche set course again for the Rift making a little detour via Earth Orbit … Captain Panglos retired to the holodeck and wasn’t seen for a few days.
***********************
Next on Star ship Nietzsche: another dimension duh and probably more stealing and infantile behaviour.
