Jeff Foxworthy's take on school teachers

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[TC1]

Jeff Foxworthy's take on school teachers
YOU might be a school employee if....
 
...you believe the playground should be equipped with Ritalin salt lick
 
...you want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off
 
...it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered
 
...you can tell it's a full moon or if it going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside
 
...you believe, "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on a report card
 
...you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
 
...when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior
 
...you have no social life between August and June
 
...you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce
 
...you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce
 
...you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."
 
...you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the UHAUL boxes should they decided to move out of district
 
...you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form
 
...you can't imaging how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public
 
...meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"
 
...you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference
 
...you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!!!
 
...the words "I have college debt for this?" has ever come out of your mouth
 
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This was emailed to me today, of course by a teacher. I don't remember us being that bad when we were students. It must be something the new generation of kids are doing... :rolleyes:

[Valkyrie]

LOL  TC1, your memory going with age, is it?  My Dad, who turned 65 last August, would have been one of those kids.  The stories he used to tell us from his school days.....man I'm glad I didn't go to school then!  He was something of a bad kid.  

I however, was a perfect angel.  I've always learned from my parents mistakes.  :)

[TC1]

LOL - I remember!  I just like telling my kids we were better in school and they actually at times believe it too.

I remember the stories my dad told me about his adolescence and I'm surprised he made it to adulthood(much less me being here).

[Valkyrie]

LOL  I'm sure that's part of the reason why you are here!  

All I can say is that it was a good thing I actually was a good girl in school.  My dad is a bit of a chauvinist (more than a bit tbh) and thinks that boys will be boys.  I remember when I was a kid, my dad wouldn't pay into an education savings plan for me, because girls don't go to university.  No, that wasn't a joke.  He seriously thought that.  He thought that men go out & earn a living and the little woman stays at home, looking after everything.  That's how he thought my mom should be.  And for years, she was.  

Eventually, she convinced him that he really should put money into the plan for me as well.  My oldest brother was about 6 or 7 when Dad started his, and he did the same with my middle brother.  I am 3 years younger & 1.5 years younger than my 2 brothers.  It took my mom until I was 10 before he did it for me.  Which means it took my mom 7 years to convince him I should have that advantage too.  

The irony: I'm the only one of the 3 of us that went on to university.  Not because my brothers weren't smart enough, but because they didn't want too.

I didn't invite Dad to the graduation ceremony.  To this day I don't regret that decision.

[TC1]

I'm glad you did go to university, but remember he did change his mind about putting money aside for you. I'm not taking up for him - I guarantee you that, but things were different when he was growing up. I know he was proud of you going to university.

[Valkyrie]

Sure.  I have forgiven him.  Only took about 10 years to do that though.   The irony is that between my dad & my mom, my mom is smarter & would have done better in school.  But back then jobs for women were mostly clerical & she was stuck being preggers with us three (not at the same time but in rapid succession).  Unfortunately, she stayed at home to look after us until I was about 10.  It almost drove her nuts being stuck at home with nothing to engage her mind.  

All I can say is I'm very glad that I didn't have to do that.  LOL  Even if my hubby weren't enlightened, he wouldn't have had any choice.  I wouldn't be a stay at home kind of wife.

[TC1]

I can surely sympathize being stuck at home looking after  three kids - no internet back then. Also, on a positve note - she did get a lot of joy taking care of you three and I'd be willing to bet she wouldn't have given that up for anything.

As for "Mom" being smarter, my wife is definitely smarter than me(Dad). She's going for her Doctorate(in education) in a couple of years - LOL!

As for a wife staying home? I would like to see the economy where a wife(or husband) could stay home to take care of the children IF they wanted to do so. Now it takes 2 people working to just keep food on the table and a roof overhead.

[Valkyrie]

Yup.  Mind you I have a friend that is better educated than her hubby.  He wanted to be an actor, and quite frankly, he doesn't have the temperament for the average 9-5 type job.  He was a bit of a dreamer, but she loves him.  When they had kids, she knew there was no way she'd be able to stay at home.  It wasn't in her temperament.  He, on the other hand, loved being with kids.  So she went off to work while he was a stay at home dad.  To make ends meet, he would do odd jobs.  He pursued acting, but Ottawa is not a hotbed of opportunities, regardless of talent.  Eventually he realised it wasn't worth the effort anymore & he decided to give it up.  He still does handyman type jobs.  The kids are now teenagers.  They are 2 of the best behaved kids I've ever met.  They aren't goody-goody type kids.  They are boys that love to go out & play and have a good time.  But neither of them get into any serious kind of trouble.  I think this goes directly to the fact that their parents spent really good quality time with them.  They didn't have a lot of money, but they had the basics plus tons of love.

I admire that the 2 of them made that decision.  They have a very happy strong marriage & they don't care about traditional roles.  They do what works for them.

I have to say your wife should be very proud of herself.  I'd be willing to lay down any sum of money to bet that you very proud of her.  :)  Smart man, choosing a smart woman!  

I'm not so sure about the joy of taking care of us.  We were very strong minded & mom is a pushover, tbh.  LOL She & her hubby got a couple of standard schnauzers about 8 years ago.  When I found out she was going to do it I told her she was nuts.  She'd had over 3 decades with 3 very stubborn children.  Why did she want another couple of stubborn kids?    LOL She's the boss of them....just.

[TC1]

I am very proud of her and I wouldn't take your bet because I would lose big time. We're like a set of matching bookends - we work together quite well. I can honestly say I've been blessed - I'm smart enough to see that!

It sounds like your friend and her husband have a good setup. There have been times in our marriage when each of us was a stay home parent while the other parent worked. It worked out for the most part until it happened to be my turn - LOL! That was when my daughter was a teenager and I noticed years later that my wife made it a point to work very long days for some reason?

I don't see how your mom owns 2 schnauzers? They are balls of energy and they are inside pets. Then again, the schnauzers are the actual owners, pets fool us into thinking we own them.  

[Valkyrie]

LOL They are standard schnauzers so it's even worse!  She walks them a minimum of 1 hour a day, which is great for her.  She also has a very big yard that is their playground.  They will exercise each other quite often.  She is delusional, however & still thinks she's the owner!  I knew years ago that the cat is the ruler in the house.  Took me about 2 weeks to discover that!  

LOL When I was a teen, I moved out of mom's house & into dad's.  It was the best thing, because mom & I fought constantly.  This way, the worst of those years weren't on her.  Mind you, I was a good girl.  My biggest problem was I get along with my mom.  

BTW I really was a good girl.  My teenage rebellion consisted of doing the exact opposite of my 2 brothers.  They smoked, so I didn't.  They drank.  I still don't.  They did drugs.  I'm only into the legal type.  They stole a few cars for joy rides.  I think I may have jaywalked once I got into my 20's.  They skipped school & dropped out.  I stayed in to the end of uni & if I wanted to skip school, I had my dad write a note saying I was taking the day off.  I think it happened twice in the 4 years that I lived with him.  And generally it was getting to leave early to go to the mall before I went to my orthodontist.  Yup, I was a good girl.

I'd have to say that bookends is a good description.  My hubby & I are like that too.  Excellent choice, btw, since hubby's a book salesman!    His weaknesses are my strengths & vice versa.  We are opposites and yet we are very similar in our views on all the important things.  Makes for an easy household!